Thursday, June 30, 2011
A Few Thoughts on the Old Theme of this Blog.... Love
Years ago when I started this blog, I was completely free in life. Free of a relationship, free of a job, and free of some former "toxic" friendships.
In fact, it was the most free I had ever felt in my adult life. And I loved it. Miss it in ways.
Lately my faith has wavered in life. Try as I might to go to church, to pray, I can't seem to strengthen it. So when a book jumped out to me on the bookshelf titled, Have a Little Faith, by Mitch Albom, it was no surprise it took me less than 2 hours to read. Mitch goes back to his hometown to what will turn out to be an 8 year journey of getting to know his childhood Rabbi he had turned away from.
I've been looking for answers lately: Why do bad things happen to such good people? Why is there so much evil? Why do most relationships and friendships seem to fall apart? Why is forgiveness so hard to actually do? Surely many wonder these things, and these questions were all addressed in the book.
As for the bad things happening to good people. The Rabbi says he simply does not know why. But the evil in this world is our choice. But why do we do so many bad things? The Reb says, "because one thing God gave us - and I'm afraid it's at times a little too much - is free will. Freedom to choose. I believe he gave us everything we needed to build a beautiful world, if we choose wisely."
Be we can also choose badly. And we can mess things up something awful.
The Reb makes so many other good points on the book on friendship, family and forgiveness I will post on here another time. As for love, he says to make one of your goals in life to find a good partner. Whose love is proven through action, not words. When you have that infatuation type of love, it doesn't last. Love is always changing. This I have definitely learned.
So I'll paraphrase the Reb's conversation on love:
"When in Fiddler on the roof, the wife asks, "How can you ask if I love you? Look at all I've done with you. What else would you call it?"
That kind of love - the kind you realize you already have by the life you've created together - that's the kind that lasts".
"The word commitment has lost its meaning. I'm old enough to remember when it used to be a positive. A committed person was someone to be admired. He was loyal and steady. Now a commitment is something you avoid. You don't want to tie yourself down."
And if you don't commit?
Your choice. But you miss what's on the other side.
What's on the other side?
Ah, he smiled. A happiness you cannot find alone. "
*** I think back to my happiness I had found during my freedom years... all alone. But then I think would I want to be all alone forever? I feel I would miss out on a lot. Oh, and as for that special somebody who someone upstairs moved in to become my next door neighbor a couple years ago? Yes, I'm happy to say he's still around.
And he is surely the best damn thing that has ever happened to me.
Happiness to all this summer~