Thanks for all the great comments (I am having trouble publishing again) and e-mails. Seems many can relate to our new world of too many "electronic friendships".
As for the inner peace article, it sure felt good reading it. But in daily like I have serious trouble putting this to work. It seems my mind is always worrying. You name it, I worry about it. I'm not sure what is going on with me lately. When I told a friend about my latest disorder- anxiety- she said, "so what, Manhattan itself is like one big anxiety attack."
I used to be a really laid back, calm person. Maybe I need to live somewhere calmer. I dream of living near San Fran or Laguna. Cali has always called me. But my life is here. The job I waited so long for. N and most of all my older parents. So I can't really leave. At least not yet.
The funny thing is if I were to leave, I know I'd miss New York like crazy.
There's nothing like it.
Yesterday we got a taste of springtime. Well, not really..It only reached a high of 43, but when the high has been 28 degrees for months, it felt comfortably fine walking around at lunch time with no jacket. The sun was shining. People seemed happier. The strange lady of our neighborhood was out in full force with her half shirt and big belly hanging out, doing her leg exercises on the street while yelling at her all too scary looking bulldog. I got my only laugh of the day when I saw this. N and I think this is what happens to someone when they live in a 280 sq. foot apartment for 20 years.
Which brings my mind to another worry. Being alone, living here in 20 years. And if that doesn't happen, that means change. Which either means marriage or moving. Which both scare the heck out of me.
You know I saw my first Woody Allen movie the other day. I don't like the creep. But I must admit it was a darn good movie. In Annie Hall Woody plays an overly neurotic, eccentric Manhattanite. (According to N, I might just share some similar neuroses to him- and I couldn't argue on this one).
When Annie moves in with Woody, he begs her to stillkeep her own apartment. "Why would I need to do that?", she asks. He replies: "It's different 'cause you keep your own apartment. Because you know it's there, we don't have to go to it, we don't have to deal with it, but it's like a . . a . . a. . . free-floating life raft ... so we know that we're not married."
A free floating life raft. Seriously I can relate.