Thanks, everyone for the great comments once again. I tried to respond to each. It was great to get some guy's perspectives.
I see girls all over the world are feeling the same way. I should have titled my last post, "Why Don't Guys Call?" rather than "Why Guys Don't Call", because I didn't really answer that. I just think it's easier for them and it also creates more of a distance and that is why they don't call to talk!
Perhaps I should turn my e-mail off too for a while. This would take care of the past morons who have e-mailed me within the past week. I will copy them below to show you just how moronic.
(From past guy who resurfaced last week, who I have not responded to about meeting up again. Note he is older...38 and SO immature).
> Why won't u friend me on FB? (Facebook) I want to see ur profile pics and how hot you look!<
Delete!
From Brit guy I had a couple dates with in May:
> Are you back in the city? Am in the mood for some home-cooked fare. What do you say? <
Implying once again I am to cook for him?
Double delete!!
From Brit guy from a couple years ago I contacted one pathetically lonely night in NYC when I was thinking back to possibilities I could have a summer fling with since he recently moved to NYC:
>So, where did we leave off last month? You showing me around the city? I have been involved although now on the rocks a bit as she will be overseas all summer. Would still love to see where you live. I have flatmates. ;-) xxxxx, M
Ugh!! Triple delete!!!!!!!
And the worst...
From the older attorney guy from Alaska (where there are supposed to be nicer men!!), who I met on a trip in Seattle and he came to NYC and took me out once.
Pompous prick. His last e-mail bragged about how he spent 27K shopping on a vacation!
> Seems like forever since I heard from you. I think you should come to Anchorage to celebrate your one year jobloss anniversary. What are you up to these days??? Are you working? If not, are you homeless yet? Must be in NYC. Call me. Write me. Run away with me.
Quadruple delete!!!!
Which leaves me with my question of the day:
What is the best way to lose a guy? I don't respond to this Alaska attorney guy EVER. But I have been getting voice mails (yes, he is actually one who calls) and e-mails from him for the past 6 months. I mean, why doesn't he give up?
Doesn't he get it??
I used to be too nice and send short e-mail responses back but now I just ignore but still they get in touch. Perhaps I need to be blunt. Say it as I feel and then it will end. But ignoring is a lot easier. And yes, I now see why guys do it!
And just as I look back at all these jerky e-mails I receive one very, very sweet one from neighbor. Does a NICE guy really exist for me? Maybe, just maybe I have really found one?? As I read it, I can't believe what it says. And more on that tomorrow....
:)
24 comments:
I left you a little surprise on my blog :)
In my experience the best way to lose a guy is to really want him. I'm such a cynic.
I say just keep ignoring them and they'll all go away.
How does one lose a guy when the guy doesn't get the hint after six months? That seems more than slightly ridiculous to me. My usual advice would be to click the ignore button on the phone and auto delete the e-mails, but that doesn't seem to be working. Maybe you should just continue to let him make a fool of himself. Then you can use snippets from the e-mails in more blogs or in a book you write some day. Pompous asses deserve exploitation. :)
There are two kinds of men. Men who assume you're not interested even when you clearly obviously are, and men who assume you're interested when it couldn't be more transparent that you're not.
Unfortunately as the first type of man I'm totally unqualified to give you any advice on how to handle the second.
Aww, don't leave me hanging girl!! Thanks so much for your thoughtful post on my blog in return - we are often on the same waive lengths! ;) This blog post reminds me of How Lose a Guy in 10 Days...if you haven't seen it you should. It's hilarious. I think sometimes guys just don't get it. They don't. You have to be blunt with them and tell them you aren't interested, otherwise they keep on stalking you. Once you wound their manly pride, they usually go away. I don't say that to be mean, but sometimes being blunt is the only way. I hope the neighbor said something dreamy...can't wait to hear more about that next time darlin!
Nice, normal guys will get the message when you don't respond and move on to greener pastures. The weirdos don't. Block their email address. If it gets through, don't read it -- delete it. Any response just encourages them.
Think about it. Some part of you may be interested in what they have to say. After all, you are reading their emails -- all the way to the end?
Here's my take on Alaskan Attorney:
Men want what they can't have. Period. They enjoy the chase...it's that whole men-are-designed-to-be-hunters thing.
If you're too available, they lose interest. If you blow them off, they're never going to leave. That's a vicious cycle if I've ever seen one. :)
Way to keep us hangin' missy!
okay, i think i'm mad at you.
by simply reading your last few posts, this past week three of my past-life beaus have shown up out of nowhere and now i can't get them to leave me alone.
it`s life! freaking murpheys law. the ones you don`t want email and phone and sms and frigging sky write. and the ones you DO, stay silent.
why why?
why are the dumb ones so verbose?
<< Hi so-and-so,
I had a nice time with you, but realized that there is no connection for me. I wish you the best of luck finding your connection, I really do, but I am moving on so please don't feel bad if I don't communicate with you anymore.>>
This is one way to do it. I'm not sure that there is a best way to do it, but telling them something along these lines takes away a little guilt and possibly they will move on. :)
Hi TCG - so you want some ideas on "how to lose a guy". Well okay, here are a couple of ideas.
- I've received your notes/voice-mails and the reason I haven't responded is because I'm just not that interested.
- Thanks for the note but I've decided to move on and you should too.
-
-
good luck with the possible nice guy. If you can find him just around the corner (I'm a new follower and you refer to him as a neighbor), then you might be one very lucky lady.
As far as the jerky guys, I can't help you there. I attract them like honey it seems.
i feel the same way...i have been wondering if there is a nice guy out there for me as well. can't wait to read tomorrow's post :)
DSS- Thank you!!
Marie- Hahaha! That cracked me up!
Semi-crazy- Yes, after 6 months...actually more. I last saw him last September. True- I could continue to do just that with his e-mails.. You are right- pompous asses deserve exploitation. The web is good for that! ;)
Mr. London- ha! That cracked me up. You've got a good point there too!
Ocean- Your blog is just the best! I have to see that movie still..Maybe it will give me some good tips. I think you are right- and being blunt, instead of just ignoring some of them is what will make them go away. Thanks!
Jerry- good point there..The normal ones will get it, weirdos or overly pompous ones won't.
Maybe a tiny part of me was interested enough to open the email and read it, yes. But at this point no- had enough so blocking address is a good idea. Thanks.
Lins - Thank you. I can TOTALLY see this being the case with the attorney. Sure is a vicious cycle!
Ali- I really couldn't believe it- what I read! :)
Uncorked - ha!!! That was too funny. You too, huh? There is something weird going on lately in the universe. But I have an explanation as to why this happened to you too.. I'll write a post on it soon.
Sarah- I am laughing so freaking hard re-reading your comment. 'sky write'! My gosh, that is classic!! And so unbelievably true. Why, oh why?!!!?!
Bobby- perhaps that is the best way. Like Ocean said, must be blunt with some of them. I guess I have trouble being blunt since I feel badly, so ignoring is easier. Maybe I'm just not brave enough and need to be.. Just write something along the lines of what you wrote and hit send already! Thanks Bobby Boy- always great to get your opinion.
Pat- Perfect, as always! Like Bobby was saying. This is what I need to do. Thanks, my friend!
I agree with Lins, men want what they can't have!! So just reverse the obsession and he will go away, ask him if he picked out the ring yet or can you set the date? when can he meet your family! Keep calling him over and over when you know he isn't there and leave a really wacked messages! scare him to death!! Bet he never calls!!! and it would make a great story!!
loved the segments, thanks for stoppin by! sincerely caroline
The stuff in this entry is pretty darn amazing. That said, it will make for great content if you decide to write a book/script/etc. based on this blog.
I'd just continue to ignore Mr. Alaska, since it's the easiest thing to do and if he doesn't eventually stop, send a note like Pat and others suggested (the snarkier the better).
I'm still smiling from reading e-mails. Also, the use of "u" and "ur" by a 38 year old in an e-mail? I guess he's trying to not impress. Embarrassing and pathetic.
I don't normally link to my blog in comments I promise, but the story in this post illustrates that some men will just never take no for an answer.
ignore. ignore. ignore.
and- have all their emails forwarded right to your trash :)
you are right, those guys are morons. what interesting messages they sent you. omg all women should just throw themselves at these oh so wonderful guys, lol. whatever. they need a life. good for you for not responding back and wasting your time. i cant wait to hear what neighbor wrote you. i hate being kept in suspense sometimes but i love surprises.
LOL lol i have to laugh even though its not a laughing matter. I have no comment
You know what makes me laugh though is that us girls are great at giving advice to other girls - be blunt! etc but we cannot see it for ourselves...it takes someone else to tell us! Do you know what I mean? I've been thinking about it recently a lot... I don't get the guy that keeps ringing six months on!! How weird.. much love xxx
Caroline-- Ask him if he picked the ring out yet. HAHA! Classic! Maybe I should. That will get him never to be heard from again. Thank you!
Jin- Friends have been telling me for years I should write a book. Maybe I can make some $ off the many years of horrific dating? Hmm. :)
Yes, ignoring him is easiest for me.
I laughed so hard at your last line- that is what I thought when I read his email. He is 38 and writing "ur" in an e-mail. Probably because he was such a chronic texter, that is how he emails too. Pathetic is right!
Ah, I always love your comments. :)
Mr London- thanks.. I will check it out.
Unbreak- glad I can give you a good laugh sometimes. You always see the humor in my strange life.
Golden Girl - that is sooooooo very true!!
No, I don't get him either - at all! And I don't get why I even bother to open his emails and read them. Ha! Thanks. :)
talk about bad luck and jerky guys!
those emails are horrible. good thing you deleted them all girl! =) and sharing with all of us is great!!! love it.
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